Making up for lost time

There has been so many things going on with me every day, and it is such a shame that I could not muster enough courage to take some time off to write about it for fear that I may be wasting time writing about my life rather than living it.

It’s a bit embarrassing to admit what I have said above, yet that is what I feel all the time. And I hope I will get over it soon. Because in my heart, I know I want to write. In fact, when I am not typing away on black and white keys right now, all I think about throughout the day is that I do not want to forget this moment, that I want to write about a feeling I have, a thought that just came to me, or a significant event that may not be remembered after some time has passed. I understand that the brain can only choose to remember so much, and that through writing about something may just be the best way to capture a moment, a feeling, a thought, an reflection, a secret desire, a wish, or a dream.

Sometimes it is so difficult to begin something, yet when you take a deep breath and plunge right in, then spend some time doing it, you realize that it is not as bad as it seems to be in the beginning. Life seems to be that way. In writing, I am like that. It is always so hard to open with a sentence, but when I have thought of a good opening paragraph, the words and thoughts start flowing in. Well, that is usually (but not always) the case.

I remember what I have read in Paulo Coelho’s latest bestselling novel, Brida. In that book, it says that “every moment in life is an act of faith. None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, and yet we still go forward. Because we trust. Because we have faith.” Such beautiful, haunting words.

Paulo Coelho’s books are so magical and filled with wisdom that it is such no wonder that he has become one of the most successful novelists of this day and age. But I digress.

After pondering about these words, I reckon that this is what I lack: faith. I lack faith in my writing, that I might waste my time doing something that may not bear any fruit in the long run. We only do the easy things because we see and feel the outcomes at once. But the more difficult things, those that require more time and effort, these will bring about more pain and sacrifice, yet these are the things that may help us discover who we really are and what we are capable of.

Here is a favorite quote of mine that I have on my Plurk profile:

“It is easy to follow, but it is uninteresting to do easy things. We find out about ourselves only when we take risks, when we challenge and question.”
– Magdalena Abakanowicz, Polish sculptor and one of the most influential female artists of the 20th century.

I must stop making excuses putting off doing difficult and daunting tasks, especially those that I know I want to do. Within me is the passion to write, to create art, to spark a light in others’ lives. Within me is the dream that I could make a difference someday. Within me is a girl struggling to find her place in this world, and the only way to do it is to never lose faith in myself.

* * *

I am having tingles through my body right now, as I think about Barack Obama making history as the first black president of America. People from around the world are celebrating his victory. Everybody is Plurking, blogging, and talking about it. It is the first time that I have been this interested in American politics, and I am sure all my other friends are, too. This year’s elections is by far the most exciting and historic one yet. It is wonderful news that the youth have gotten more involved and aware of what is happening in the world today, now that the Internet and media unavoidably exposes them to news, politics, and whatnot.

Today, black is the new white. Today, Obama has proved that anything is possible with an open heart, an open mind, and the right attitude to strive for one’s goals.

I am so touched that he even took the time to thank the world through his website, to which I subscribe to his regular personal e-mails, that without the people who supported him, this would not have been possible.

Now I would like to add that McCain does not use e-mail nor the Internet, which more than proves that he is one who is behind the world now being driven and made more connected through technology. Obama made good use of his website and YouTube for his campaign, wherein he particularly reached out to the youth. I see change all over him, and I believe he will be a remarkable world leader.


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